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Whenever someone is brutally murdered by some mentally screwed up psycho and the press go round to interview the neighbours of the perpetrator of the deed, someone invariably says "But he was just a quiet man, he kept himself to himself really", which, other than proving that you should always get to know your neighbours, makes a point for being quite nervous of shy boys. Clearly frustrated by his lack of ability to communicate with the opposite sex decides instead to kill them, lop off the arms and legs and then make love to the corpse. Clearly this is not healthy behaviour.
Odds on Being a Bastard Underneath:- Pretty much guaranteed. Less of a bastard underneath, more just a bastard.
What do you mean "who"? Have you really forgotten already? Mark Owen was the 'cute one' out of Take That, a popular band who, when they split up, caused a mass outpouring of public grief, the like of which was never seen again until some rich woman got her drunk chauffeur to drive into a wall. So it's good to know that it's only pointless things which get people bothered.
Mark Owen was clearly the shy and sensitive one in the band, despite being the most popular member among girls of a certain age, mainly due to the fact that he looked unthreatening, mainly thanks to his floppy hair and watery eyes. All the other members of the band looked a bit on the tough side, well, in relation to Mark at any rate, apart from Gary of course who merely looked like himself. And that's a terrible thing for anyone to live with.
Odds on being a bastard underneath:- Slim. Mark seems to be quite happily accepting the fact that he's got no chance of ever reaching the heights of popularity he achieved while doing slightly awkward dance routines in clothes that no-one would even dream about wearing in public. Will probably write a nice autobiography with fond memories of his times in Take That and will say that they were all best of friends, even though this is clearly a lie.
Clearly a shy boy, again by virtual of having floppy hair, which is always a good sign. He's also clearly very much under the thumb of his wife, Posh Spice. It's very clear who wears the trousers in that household! (Because David Beckham has been photographed in a saro... oh never mind). David clearly has the same level of shyness as an 8 year old boy forced to meet some random members of his family that he's never heard of before. If only because that's probably his mental age.
Odds on being a bastard underneath High. Is clearly out to make his son's life hell in revenge for Victoria doing the same to his. He recently forced Brooklyn to get the same skinhead as he was forced to have, which is a bit of a bastard thing to do. Has also tattooed the kids name into his back which is just freaky quite frankly. May be trying to cultivate a new bastard image with his aggressive new haircut, but this will only last until Victoria decides that a husband with a perm is the latest must have accessory.
VyVyan's favourite Shy Boy of them all is Mr Coxon, the guitarist out of Blur. Apparently he is proud of this fact. Graham is so shy that he attempted to stop Coffee and TV being released as he didn't want to have to sing it live. I supported him fully in this campaign and only wished that Damon would suddenly have a bout of chronic shyness as well. Certainly if I'd had anything to do with any of Blur's oeuvre I'd far too embarrassed to be associated with it on a stage.
Odds on Being a Bastard Underneath:- Not that good, instead he tends to get drunk, hit by cars and listen to unlistenable American lo-fi bands. While some people may consider his choice in music to be a bit of a bastard to listen to, Graham actually seems to enjoy it, which might imply that he was dropped on his head as a child.
