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After nearly two weeks of being locked in our Queen's Dungeon O' Pleasure, it suddenly came to me--I could do something truly useful. After gnawing through the Fuzzy Pink Handcuffs and avoiding the man-eating alligators in the moat (filled with black cherry Jell-O and for some curious reason, men's boxers and women's bikini tops), I escaped. On logging onto the Internet, I made a truly disturbing discovery--the weeks of deprivation had actually elevated my senses and I now realized that most of the websites out there were truly lame, blindingly lame, flamingly lame. The only thing that could possibly be more lame is how some dumb drunk always goes into a fireworks stand every year with a lit cigarette and manages to drop it, scaring or killing a lot of people. But some of these sites really could do the same thing, honest. Irreversible brain damage, permanent blindness, sudden onset of insanity or worse. | |
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