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HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN
 

Material Safety Data Sheet

"W O M A N" - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
 
 

Element:          Woman

Symbol:           Wo

Discoverer:      Adam

Atomic Mass:  Accepted as 53.8 Kg but may vary from 40 Kg to 200 Kg

Occurrence:     Copious quantities in all urban areas
 
 

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1..- Surface usually covered with painted film.
2..- Boils at nothing, freezes without know reason.
3..- Melts if given special treatment.
4..- Bitter if incorrectly used
5..- Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6..- Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.
Most powerful money reducing agent known by man.

COMMON USES:

1..- Highly ornamental; especially in a sports car.
2..- Can be a great aid in relaxation.
3..- Very effective cleaning agents.

TESTS:

1..- Pure specimens turn rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
2..- Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARDS

Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
 
 

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