Saturday 25th November 2000
Yafa the Hamster comments on the Presidential litigation
[Editor's Note - Yafa the hamster isn't a staff writer for
the RW and we are deeply appreciative that he's allowed us to transcribe this
text from a speech recently delivered at a businessmen's lunch on the East
Coast]
Florida (MONDAY) - I've never watched a court case
all the way through because I find the entire human organisation and execution
of Law very peculiar. After all, if humans really were at the head of all
evolutionary processes as they claim to be, then surely such written statutes
would have long since have been rendered unnecessary and made obsolete by the
level or morality that the species had attained.
It just strikes me that, perhaps, the whole
subject of evolution is inherently flawed and needs a radical rethink if it's
ever to be considered as an accurate description of where men came from - for
there're much better examples of goodness in the Created order that each and
every one of you can witness.
Yes, that's right - I'm not a subscriber.
And, besides, us hamsters (who need no law to tell
us to do right, please note), who squat at the lower end of the evolutionary
scale and who are looked down upon as being 'primitive' - are the ones who live
good, upstanding lives. Otherwise, where would the appeal have been of the first
Hamster Presidential Candidate who went into the Election last week, gaining
strongly on all his rivals?
It would seem to me, then, that it's better not to have
evolved (if evolution really did take place), than to claim to be at its
pinnacle only to show that, in actual fact, one is at the very bottom.
Take that court case this afternoon I was watching
- the next scene in the sitcom they call 'Election 2000'.
If little pieces of paper were the discontented
and sorrowful beings on this planet, then I agree that large amounts of time
need to be spent discussing them.
But, if I read the news right, they're superfluous
to a human's well being. Why not put aside the time and money to decide the
election and use it to feed the poor? And why not get Gore and Bush to draw lots
or cut the cards - winner take all?
It would probably be a better way to solve the issue and,
if both candidates really did believe in God (as they've professed to), surely
He'd decide the issue for them? Or does it betray a distrust in their confession
of faith?
I don't know - I'm just a hamster, tossing these
thoughts about without really having a solution in my own mind - but it makes
you think, doesn't it?
But did you see the litigation? Did you
watch the hearing? Did you gasp as each judge interrupted the speaker as if
they'd already made up their own mind on the issue and just wanted justification
to pronounce it? And did you notice how they were asking for what 'the Law said'
on each matter when one would have expected them to know the Law if they really
were the judges so named.
I think they were muppets - I could almost see the
strings.
And you can call me biased if you like but I
really think the decision is beyond doubt. Yes, that...
[Editor - we had to cut the rest of the speech as
it turned out to be libelous]
Yafa the Hamster doesn't
write for the Rodent Weekly.
This article appears courtesy of that
paper.
