Saturday 25th November 2000
Nuffin the Hamster reports on a trip to the races
‘The result’ spoke the race caller into the microphone
which sat on the table in front of him, overlooking the winning post ‘First,
number seven, Georgie’s beauty - second, number eleven, Behind the Bush - there
is a photograph for third and fourth places’
The announcement echoed round the Tattersalls,
into every corner of the Grandstand as some punters tore up losing tickets and
others rushed to collect winnings. The tannoy clicked once more into life as the
Clerk of the Course announced: ‘Stewards’ Enquiry - please retain your
totalisator tickets until the result has been announced’
A few seconds passed before the tannoy echoed once
more: ‘Objection. objection. The second placed jockey objects to the winner for
finishing first’
Bookies closed their bags, holding hands up to
dissuade punters from claiming their winnings while the two jockeys were
summoned to the Stewards’ room to answer a list of questions and to give a
truthful account of the incidents in the race.
‘I won that race fair and square!’ the winning
jockey, Ian, complained. ‘There was no interference or hindrance - and I led
from well over halfway out!’
The stewards weren’t objecting to his statement
but they had some ‘other’ considerations which they wanted
answering.
‘Let me see’ one began ‘the race was begun by
placing each of the horses in stalls - am I right?’
Ian looked at his questioner with a puzzled
expression. ‘Er...yes. But what’s that got to do...’
‘Exactly!’ chimed in the second placed rider, John
‘That gave you an unfair advantage cos my horse doesn’t like the stalls and we
lost two lengths at the start. We would’ve been much closer had it been done
manually’
‘But they’re the rules!’ Ian objected ‘That’s what
flat racing is all about’
The Steward wasn’t impressed by this line of
reasoning and continued with his argument: ‘Now, if we’d just started the race
by having you all stand in a line, why, the result could’ve been a whole lot
different...’
‘Rubbish!’ objected Ian ‘I had so much in hand, I
could’ve won by more!’
‘...and am I right in thinking that this is a flat
race?’
Ian again looked puzzled, trying to see the
relevancy of the question. He picked up the race card and read the header to the
list of runners ‘The Axa sponsored Hove stakes - 5 furlongs flat’
‘Precisely!’ John announced ‘What if we’d’ve had a
few hurdles to jump over? My horse is well proven over sticks, I’d’ve beat yours
hollow!’
‘It’s not a jump race!’ Ian shouted ‘It’s supposed
to be on the flat! That’s what it says in the race program! You can’t go
changing the rules just because you didn’t win the race!’
The Steward motioned with his hand for
the arguing to cease. Both jockeys regained their composure, settled themselves
down into their seats as he continued:
‘Just because we’ve always done things one way’ he
began ‘doesn’t mean that we have to continue that way - even if what we presumed
should happen has to be seriously challenged after the event. I have serious
doubts that Georgie’s Beauty would have won regardless of the circumstances and
the preliminary result announced is just that - it’s now upto us to interpret
the result so that the people who’ve gambled on the race are given the correct
winner’
Ian raised his hand as if to speak but thought
better of it and returned it to his side. After a few moments he hesitated a
hand skyward and asked ‘Sir?’ and, having been given leave to speak,
began:
‘And how much do you stand to lose on the race,
sir?’
The Steward gasped, while John burst into a
defense of the chief: ‘How dare you! This isn’t a matter of what we have
personally at stake! This is about the correct result for the sake of the
people!’
‘There are sufficient grounds’ stated another
Steward firmly ‘to suggest that there were certain irregularities in the race
that need further investigation - like the choice of it being a flat race, the
distance over which it was run, the method employed to start the
race...’
‘You mean there was fraudulent activity? Race
fixing?’
‘All I’m saying’ answered the Steward ‘is that
there were...er...irregularities that deem it necessary for me not to be able to
declare that the result of the two-thirty at Brighton was as it appeared to be
at two-thirty-one when you passed the post in first place. I feel it’s my duty
to refer this matter to a higher court...’
‘I object!’ shouted Ian.
‘My dear boy, you won the race - you can’t object!
Only the loser can do that’
He paused a few seconds before waving his hand to
dismiss both jockeys ‘We will let this be a matter for the courts, gentlemen,
they must make the right decision based on all the facts...’
Nuffin the Hamster writes
for the Rodent Weekly.
This article appears courtesy of that paper.
