Saturday 25th November 2000
Nuffin the Hamster muses on the story so far
FLORIDA (Sunday)
I am the poet laureate appointed by the
hamsters
To make a rhyme for you to read
about the voting shamsters.
We’ve watched
and waited twelve full days and no one’s close to winning,
The hopes and dreams of all the States on someone we are
pinning.
Beasts and beauties centre stage - I know not
where to start -
Republican and Democrat
have taken all to heart.
Lawyer litigation
and complexities of view
Only make
simplicity the choice of very few.
And legal eagles boldly rise to line their pockets
plenty.
It seems as if they hung the count
for reasons elementary.
Their fees
increase beyond the clouds and rise above to space
So they’re the only winners in this Presidential
race.
George Bush is claiming ‘let things be - the count
we have should stand’
And Baker his
representative lends a helping hand,
While
Gore serenely smiles at us, wanting order from the mess,
Stating that his litigation is for the country’s
best.
I wonder - if he gets a lead before his case is
heard
Will he still pursue the cause and
honour every word?
Or will he take his
action back and soundly compromise,
Because him being President is really what he’s
prized?
Pregnant chads and square-shaped holes are the
order of the day,
But all such talk is
sexist when there’s no virgin or gay.
And
even when the recount’s done and the total number found,
The accuracy must be in doubt when so many’re on the
ground
I must admit that all this coverage is driving me
insane
And I’ve had to let my hair grow
long to make room for my brain.
I’ve
started watching characters and trying just to see
Whether each presenter is wearing a toupee.
It really is distracting when the wig slips down
the face
And stronger glue the remedy so
they maintain their grace.
But some of
those black hairy patches are made in similar ilk
And you would expect that when in bed they’d feed them some
warm milk.
But I digress - can’t you tell? - my mind is
wandering deep.
Reality’s a hard fought
war when you're struggling for some sleep.
The ballots from the overseas are now all finally in
And just like Bush anticipated, it’s made him
look to win.
But litigation rules the day and Katherine Harris
banned
In certifying the final count cos
the court has the stronger hand.
State
Court and the Federal contrive to win the day,
And make it all confusing no matter what commentators
say.
Concluding let me just point out that this is the
greatest sitcom
That ever has been written
or that CNN have put on.
Script writers
must work overtime to ebb and flow the tide,
And though so many think it real it has more plot than
Brookside.
So I sit here once again this morn, beside the
glowing tv,
And I wonder just who the
President will ultimately be.
And I have
that growing thought that both Gore and Bush will not
Win the day when all’s been done - but it’ll be our Diddley
Squat.
Nuffin the Hamster writes
for the Rodent Weekly.
This
article appears courtesy of that paper.
