|
|
|
Diary of a Male Model Saturday 21st October 2000 Dak the Hamster shadows one of the leading male models for a day  9am - Here I am at the door of one of the most famous hamster models the world has ever known, Ginger McFurball, a small apartment situated on the outskirts of town away from the prying eyes of photographers and the attentions of his ardent human fan club. You may have seen Ginger in numerous commercials throughout the land - that cartoon hamster on the cereal advert was modelled after him and the hamster in the J&B Whiskey Ad that spells out in building blocks 'I'm a human trapped inside a hamster's body' was not only something for which he modelled but which he had the inspiration for. 'They had some idea about fleas and cats' he tells me over a brief but substantial breakfast 'but I said "It's a no-brainer" and they had to agree' Today, nothing quite so demanding is on the schedule and we're driven off to a rendezvous with a photographer about three blocks away. 10.30am - The photographer hasn't turned up but we look around the studio, playing with the materials that Ginger is being asked to pose in. That's the great thing about being a male model, I guess, variety - from one day to the next, one might be advertising such an array of products and having to jet off to numerous sun-drenched destinations that it keeps the day interesting. 10.43am - Finally, the photographer arrives
complaining about wrong apertures and zoom lenses that had inadvertently been
taken out his bag by his children. He points to the new Rotastak equipment on
the floor and asks Ginger to balance himself on one of the red levels as if he's
enjoying it. 'Perfect...hold it!' the camera clicks and the flash blinds me for a few brief moments as another pet endorsement is finished. There really is a pile of money to be made in these photo shoots, so McFurball tells me - why, a hamster with the right persona can demand a six figure sum and the advertisers will rush in to pay it in advance. 11.50am - We talk over lunch about the Hamster Presidential Campaign and the place male models such as Ginger could play in a Hamster Administration. The thought has never crossed his mind, it appears, and, besides, advertising like the humans expect is hardly the way forward, he feels. After all, advertisements project an image which may be imaginary and the observer is never too sure whether what they imagine they see is reality or fantasy. 'People flock to attain a respectable image' he tells me 'and it's this that men and women strive for. They don't often want to face up to who they really are and advertising gives them the product with an image they want. Acquire the product and they think they acquire the image along with it' 1.25pm - This time, we're at a recording studio with some East Side band or other. They need realistic hamster sounds for one of their new songs on a forthcoming concept album about growing up - this song's about a runaway hamster. Ginger sits patiently with phones over each ear, waiting for the part of the song where the sounds have to be dubbed in and snapping his fingers to the beat of the music. Suddenly, a realisation comes over his face and he squeaks loudly into the black microphone which stands before him. The controllers behind the glass put the thumbs up and he removes the phones from his ears. 4.10pm - We're back at his apartment going through a catalogue of photos from around the world. My eyes are drawn to a small snap attached with a paperclip to a news item about Cornflakes. 'Yes, it was quite a story when it first broke' Ginger tells me 'but apparently, they first thought of using a hamster as the symbol before the chicken came along and steamrollered them into it - some sort of blackmail, so I'm assured, but I don't think the full truth has come out' Now that would have been interesting - and, perhaps, maybe the Presidential Campaign would have taken off a whole lot sooner had the hamster been used. 'Chickens appear on many food items' Ginger continued 'On egg boxes, stock cubes and even on those oven ready meat products. They really seem to have cornered the market in advertising - why, they've even made a film about escaping chickens which was only possible because there's so many thespian fowls in the theatre to choose from. 'Perhaps, one day' he muses 'they might make a film about us...' Dak the Hamster writes for
the Rodent Weekly. |
