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Campaigning
Saturday 15th July 2000
Dak the Hamster reports on the Campaigning for the new Hamster Presidential Candidate
And that campaigning still goes on as I write this. There were so many possible candidates that those present decided to give themselves an extra week in which to decide who was best suited to the post - after all, election to the White House is by no means something to be sniffed at - well, not sniffed at lightly, anyway. A hamster needs to sniff at most things just to work out what they are and to work out where he is - I didn't mean he shouldn't sniff in that way - what I meant was...oh, never mind. Diddley Squat IV caught up with me as I exited one of the many campaign rallies and insisted that the election to office was done in the most friendly of manners: 'It's not like a human election' he squeaked 'where the candidates are concerned to give concessions to those who'll support them. What each hamster here present is concerned to do is to assess the credentials of each rodent put forward and so come to a rational and logical conclusion based on fact' And that was a reassurance coming from one of the
most likely contenders for the position. DS4 is a great great great grandson of
the late Ganja, the first presidential candidate, and has credentials as long as
one's arm - a hamster's arm, that is, not a human's. Perhaps as long as a cat's
arm, as well, but it depends which cat you're talking about for some have them
longer than others - that goes for dogs, too. 'I can do more if my paws aren't tied to be constrained into an election campaign' he told me 'I have many human friends and acquaintances that I need to speak with and encourage to support us - I would find it difficult to make the time if I had to be committed to writing and delivering speeches and touring the country to visit the constituents' Among the more unlikely outsiders is Melek, the youngest at just ten weeks but already learning to think clearly on issues that affect hamsters. 'There is a great need' he told me 'for baby hamsters to be given voting rights from an earlier age than five weeks. Why, we have ample evidence to show that they're able to make rational and well informed decisions from at least the age of three. I shall, of course, be without that very significant vote in this campaign but I hope that we shall be able to change our procedures by the time the next election to office takes place' A secret 'exit poll' after a meeting at the Annual Conference recorded the mood amongst hamsters quite dramatically to be a two ham race. The declared support was Raichu - 9% quite something considering the points don't add up to one hundred as they should - yes, I checked out the figure but they're correct. At the time of writing, there still remains a lot of campaigning to be done but we anticipate that the decision will be released to the world sometime next week. The RW will keep you up to date of events as they happen and we shall be covering the election, we hope, of the new candidate in the next weekly. STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS * STOP PRESS Melek withdraws! Amidst allegations of Apricot bribery, Melek has exited the race for the Presidential Candidacy. This leaves just four candidates as at the time of going to press. Dak the Hamster writes for
the Rodent Weekly. |
