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Convention
Saturday 8 July 2000
Dak the Hamster reports on the Hamster Convention  [Editor's note: This must remain a preliminary report on the annual hamster convention held yearly (or why else would it be called 'annual', huh?) in Washington DC. As the series of events only started at the beginning of this week, we will update the Rodent Weekly web site with fresh news as soon as possible and carry an immediate response to the new Presidential Candidate the moment it's announced] It's difficult to summarise the importance of the Annual Convention in a few short words and I shan't try. But that which began from small beginnings around fifteen years ago has already grown into immense proportions and rodents from across the world attend wherever and whenever possible. In the early days, speakers were few and far between but it's generally accepted that the late, great George the Hamster was amongst the guiding lights who attracted the attention of the mass media and who propelled the meetings to be printed in the rodent calendars which circulate across three continents. From here on, the increasing numbers need no repeating from me but that near on a million were expected testifies to the importance - even if it had been the case that the new Presidential Candidate wasn't to be made known this year. Previewed in the human New York Times, I noted with relish that, amongst other speakers from across the civilised world, the legendary Scratch was scheduled to speak on the subject 'Ganjette - a personal view of a great Presidential Candidate' which was sure to attract masses of hamsters on the opening evening. But this wasn't just a time
for reminiscing, there were technical matters to be dealt with here and subjects
needed to be discussed that could be taken away and further researched in
laboratories across the world. For instance, in recent years, much has been
recorded in the rodent press about the chewability of sunflower seeds when
exposed to damp bedding and the previous year's Convention had already
tentatively proposed a standard numbering system which would indicate the
suitability of that food for consumption. This year, despite the criticisms that
such a system had reaped, rodents were already being asked to finalise the
standard in time for it to be passed as the first measure in the new Rodent
Presidency of the year 2001. It's not easy - I can vouch - to obtain three tons of ripped jay cloths but achieved it they have and with a certain style and commitment that has never been seconded. The food, also, is quite sensational and, if the first snack is anything to go by, each delegate is in for a fortnight of delights as they nibble their way through melons, grapes and figs - not to mention the substantial list of dry food that has already appeared on the menu in times past and which wasn't able to be wiped off due to it setting like concrete - that'll teach us to flick our food about the canteen, won't it? What I can report with baited breath is that excitement is mounting as the announcement of who the next candidate will be looms ever closer. For this, everyone is anxiously awaiting - and, for this, everyone is excitedly anticipating a successor to Ganjette who's everything that he or she will be required to be in the coming months as the elections are prepared for. Remember, follow our on line reports as they appear on the RW web site. Dak the Hamster writes for
the Rodent Weekly. |
