Saturday 3 June 2000
Ebony the Hamster interviews his staff colleague, Dak

They said it would be never written - though just who the 'they' were, I have no idea. Must be the human press, I guess, cos certainly no one in the offices at the Rodent Weekly ever thought it wouldn't be committed to paper. After all, we're talking about Dak here - not some unhinged and irresponsible reporter who cares little for accuracy and content.

Exactly.

And written it has been - and, furthermore, released today on George the Hamster's main web site. You see, as most readers will be aware, Dak and I had to retire for several weeks back in May to recover from overwork, fatigue and, that curse of all computer users, RSI. But it wasn't long before Dak was feeling a whole lot better and decided to hitchhike all the way down from Washington to North Carolina where our owners had taken the opportunity for a vacation while we were 'away'.

'It was an interesting journey' recalls Dak 'one that I shall always remember - the way the grays and dirt of the city changed to the greens and browns of the countryside and the much cleaner dirt of the rural towns and villages'

Spending just three days travelling south, Dak finally caught up with our owners in a small trailer park on the outskirts of Westfield, near Mount Airy.

'At first I thought to myself "Are you kidding?" but I soon came to warm to the people here and enjoyed my stay immensely. There was such a contrast of people - from the slightly loopy to the certifiable - but each of them came to extend such hospitality to me that I began to wish I had no reason to travel back with my owners to the UK'

But, travel back he did and has since been working feverishly on some new articles - I guess he must have picked up some sort of virus or other but he's getting much better as the days progress and his temperature, he assures me, is falling - about life in the States and what it means for the tourist to visit here, many of the pitfalls being recorded for the unwary traveller.

'It was like a different world' recalls Dak 'A world of Little Debbies and Altoids - a world where cars are held together with string and where a McDonalds hamburger has the consistency of cardboard and is tasteless - well, some things are the same the world over, aren't they?'

The series of articles has already rocketed to number one in the literary hamster publications chart and is set to outsell just about every book produced in the past (with the obvious exception of George's history's which remain unmatchable) but Dak has given special permission for a free copy of the text to be included on George's site.

'Money isn't everything' said Dak 'I'd much rather be able to reach those who can little afford such a publication than to think about raking in the bucks'

For those of you unversed in American language, a buck is a male deer.

On line readers can access the site by going directly here and scrolling down to the start of the links or by starting at the Introduction where each subsequent article is linked to the previous one at the bottom of the page.

Ebony the Hamster writes for the Rodent Weekly.
This article appears courtesy of that paper.





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