Dak the Hamster interviews the leader in
Hamster Cinematography
Hamish 'Spielberg' McClinton is almost legendary. How he
formed the Peanut Production company back in the late eighties and rose to both
rodent and human recognition writing and directing the early classics goes
without saying. He is known the world over for his lucid dramatisation of the
standard English Classic 'Little Walnuts', while his modernisation of
Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer's Ice Cream' received critical acclaim wherever the
film was showed.
Hearing a rumour that McClinton was due in
Washington over the Xmas period to visit relatives and friends, I hastily called
his agent, hoping that he might grant me just a few minutes to interview him
about his most recent success - the six part Sci-fi epic 'Curry Wars' which,
controversially, were released in reverse order just to confuse everybody.
Eagerly, both his agent and Hamish agreed and, one cold and dank December
morning, I sat across from the legendary director, pencil and notebook in
hand.
McClinton is a small, squat hamster who does most
of his talking with his eyes. That may sound strange if you're a human, but the
eyes have always played a major communication tool for all hamsters involved in
the Arts. Besides, isn't acting about displaying emotions not just with words
but with body attitudes and facial expressions?
No sooner had we sat down to discuss his latest
work, than he offered me a hazelnut, brought especially for me from the growing
fields in Asia from where he had just flown in.
'About "Curry Wars"' I began 'Many people felt
that it was mistake to release the films in reverse order and, I must admit,
that I'm still not sure just whether it will work. I mean, I am constantly
trying to forget the future as I watch the past'
'It's a new concept in Cinematography' he
commented 'Most people see the trailers for the films and so know most of what
will happen anyhow. Why not let them watch the end, therefore, before we start a
beginning?'
'Before you start a beginning?'
'Oh yes. We haven't yet planned what the first
film will be all about. But I can assure you that it will be equally inspiring
as the second movie - "The Vindaloo Strikes Back" - which was the most
successful, to date, they tell me'
I turned to look at the official ratings and
nodded my agreement. The entire concept of the series - a secret recipe for
Chicken Curry is stolen by a renegade space traveller from the local Indian
takeaway called "The Princess Leyla" - had not been popular to many. Still, the
figures don't lie.
'You've directed four now' I continued 'the most recent
being "The Phantom Korma". Which, would you say, was your most successful
villain?'
He scratched his head for a moment then squeaked
'You know, I've not been asked that before but, I'm really fond of the
arch-fiend in the newest one - the third of the sixth which we released
fourth...'
I smiled knowingly. This had been the favourite of
most everyone I had spoken to - the sinister Chick P Dahl. With a red face and a
smoking temperament, this character could make you feel he was talking to you
just by his presence on the screen. And, even when he wasn't in shot, you kept
looking over your shoulder just in case.
'Who thought him up?' I questioned.
'That was me, actually, after a night out at the
local Indian. Actually, that was where I got the idea for the third film "Return
of the Balti". I remember saying to my film crew "Capture me the atmosphere of a
thousand vindaloos with side orders of rice" and - you know - I think they did
just that. There was something...er...steamy about that one'
Although there are still two films of
the six-part series to be written and filmed, McClinton still has visions of
where he is going to go from there:
'I'd love to do a few Byron poems' he told me
'Draft in some mammals for the main role of his classic "Donkey Oatey". I don't
know if it will come off but I have this nagging voice in the back of my head
which seems to be urging me on to do some sort of classical
reinterpretation'
I guess the sky's the limit. Hamish McClinton
wished me all the best as we concluded the interview but, hung in my office over
where I sit, is a personally signed photograph of one of the most legendary
rodent film directors of all time. I shall treasure that picture for as long as
I live...
Dak the Hamster writes for
the Rodent Weekly.
This article appears courtesy of that paper.
Ganjette's presidential web site can be found here
