|
Here you will read small excerpts from the Bible, following the brief excerpts you will be given a scenario. Make your decision, hopefully the scriptures shall guide you in the correct direction. In the direction of God. But for this quiz to work, you must answer the question.
The Question:
Jesus says "Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing but, inwardly, are ravening wolves." Matt 7:15, and, "If any man shall say to you 'Lo, here is the Christ,' or, 'Here,' believe him not. For there shall arise false Christs and false prophets who shall show great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the very elect." Matt. 24:23-24
John says "Beloved, believe not every spirit, but test the spirits, to see whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." 1st John 4:1
"Therefore by their fruits shall you know them. Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord' shall enter into the kingdom of heaven. Many will say to me in that day 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy by your name and by your name cast out demons, and by your name do many mighty works?' And I will profess to them, 'I never knew you. Go away from me you who work evil.'"
Matt 7:22-23
True Christians tell me that only 10 percent of those who claim to be True Christians are really Christians at all. This calculates to about only 144,000 seats in heaven. Do you think you deserve one of them? If you can't confidently answer "yes", why not? Do you love Jesus? Is Jesus your Personal Lord and Savior? Are you Spirit filled? Do you display any of the fruits (love, joy, peace, happiness, etc.) of the Spirit as described in Gal. 5:22-23? (keep the answers to these questions you have given in mind, as they will help you make some of the following decisions.)
You must therefore believe in the Bible. Believe in it as the Word of God. The Bible is infallible to some. Is it infallible to you? Do you agree that if you follow it word by word it shall never harm you? Is the Bible as appropriate for today as it was two thousand years ago?
The Money Quiz:
"Give to everyone that asketh thee; and from him that
taketh away thy goods ask not again." Luke 6:30
"Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would
borrow of thee turn not thou away." Matt. 5:42
Luke 6:35 sums it all up...
"But love your enemies, and do them good, and lend never despairing; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be Sons of the Most High: for he is kind toward the unthankful and evil."
I am asking you to make a tax deductible donation of 10% of your savings, to the World Wildlife Fund, of which I am a supporter and member of. It should please you to know that The World Wildlife Fund fights commercial exploitation, speed destruction of rainforests, oceans, grasslands, lakes, and wastelands all over the world. WWF has collected and spent over $100,000,000.00 to save nature. Please help! (Before hitting the back button on your browser and leaving, please remember your answers to the questions prior to this request. And please reread the biblical quote above.)
Make checks payable to:
World Wildlife Fund
1250 Twenty Fourth Street, NW
PO BOX 96555
Washington DC 20077-7787
(To verify the validity of this environmental-care organization, telephone (202) 293-4800, or write them a letter inquiring for their latest financial report)
(You have written out and mailed the checks? Bless you! Proceed to the…)
Swill Quiz
Next we proceed with more subjective questions. How is your walk with your Lord? Do you follow Jesus closely? Do you want to follow more closely?
In Matthew 10:18 Jesus sends out his True Disciples with the commandments to "heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead and cast out devils."
"And these signs shall accompany them that believe: in my name they shall cast out demons, they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall in no wise hurt them; they shall lay their hands on the sick, and they shall recover." Mark 16:17-18
Have you ever had to cast out demons? Do you speak with tongues? Have you laid your hands on sick persons who were healed?
In the Bible read Mark 16:17-18 which says that True Christians can pick up serpents and drink harmful things without suffering. Now, true Christian, drink a glass of Clorox Bleach. Not up to it? Do you say "thou shalt not test God" to get out of this mess? This is a quiz to determine whether you are a True Christian, following the word of God (the Bible), confidently. Confidently knowing it cannot harm you, or steer you wrong. This quiz tests the True Christian, not God. God is not around to be tested anyway. Drink a glass of Bleach on your own free will to prove God exists and is on your side, or admit you are a fraud, and not a True Christian.
Conclusion
As we can readily see it's not healthy to be a True
Christian. A True Christian is equivalent to being a Bibliolator -- one who worships the Bible. Now being a Christian is OK. But being a Bibliolater is a form of mental ILLNESS. It's great fun and good citizenship to let the Bibliolater know of their problem. That is what this quiz is designed to do.
What I wrote up came from Delos Mckown in a speech he gave in Atlanta, Georgia, October 7, 1989.
Professor McKown is a former clergyman and present Head of philosophy at Auburn University since 1979.
"Positive good can come from making Christians suffer "cognitive dissonance", for it is out of intolerable intellectual and emotional conflict within oneself that deliverance often comes."
--Professor Delos McKown.
Here are more tests for our Bibliolators...
Luke 10:19: Jesus says that his disciples can walk on scorpions and snakes. Not everyone has a roomful of snakes. However you can get a large, covered jar with a "little something" in it. Make sure the testee can't see inside the jar. Ask your testee to put his hand in the jar and wiggle it around.
Any reluctance shows weak faith, not someone you'd want to listen to.
1 Cor. 7:29: St. Paul says to cut out the sex. If they are married, are they still making love to their spouse? Comment that abstinence is unnatural and unhealthy.
Matt. 10:18: Jesus sends out his disciples to heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, etc. Again be skeptical and ask the testee if they are really from Jesus? They could be from a false teacher or worse yet, the Devil. If they assure you they are from Jesus, test them. Ask for a demonstration of healing the sick, raising the dead and cleansing lepers. Since lepers aren't around, AIDS patients can be substituted.
When the Bibliolator shows up at your door, express concern. You don't want to be duped by a fraud. Ask them if the description in Luke 14:26 fits them. "If any man comes to me and hates not his father, mother, wife, children, brethren, and sistern, yea, and his own life also, he CANNOT be my disciple." Do they hate all these people? How does that fit in with loving others? If the evangelist really hates their spouses and family why do they want to live forever in heaven with these people?
Matt 10:17-18: As the conversation goes on, be sure you have the genuine article. Ask if this person has ever been flogged in a synagogue or dragged before governors and kings for Jesus's sake. The answer is almost certainly no. But continue with Matt 10:21-22. "And brother shall deliver brother up to death, and the father the child; and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death, and ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake..." Ask "Have you had family problems like these?" Then, "Does everyone hate you because of Jesus?" The answer to both questions is almost certainly no. Say sadly and gravely that you are afraid this person is not the real article. Send them away into darkness. You want to learn about Jesus from the right kind of person as described in Matthew.
After the testee has made their opening spiel just ask "Are you morally perfect?" Christians make a big deal of saying they are not perfect, just forgiven. Read Matthew 5:48 wherein Jesus says in the red letter edition, "BE YE PERFECT, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." The answer is almost surely no. Solemnly note this is an imperative, not a maybe. Jesus wouldn't make demands which his true followers couldn't meet. Bibliolators should thank you for pointing out their flaw. Tell the testee to come back when they are morally perfect.
If the Bibliolator is a woman ask her if women are allowed to speak aloud in the congregation. If the answer is yes, cite Paul's first letter to Timothy 2:11-12 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection, but I allow not a woman to teach, nor to have authority over man, but to be in silence." If she still answers "yes," ask why Paul is ignored. What other commandments does she ignore? Why?
Bibliolators seldom play fair. If the Bibliolator pleads with you to read the Bible or pray everyday, or attend church, or say a little prayer, agree by presenting your own proposal. Say "Sure I will, if you'll do something for me. Go out into the woods alone where you won't be seen or embarrassed. Call upon the wood spirits and water nymphs to give you good luck. And say this little prayer...
"Lord Cernunnos, I have been so confused lately that I have forgotten you. Please forgive me my sins. If you exist please manifest your being in my life. Thank you." Since this looks like idolatry in the Bibliolators eyes, they will not agree and you won't have to keep your bargain either. They will leave.
Enough for now. Have a good time with this, all you Bibliolators and Atheists reading this alike!
|
|
